#this game is killing me endwalker is so good

[abimee]

[corseque]

On the scale of 1 (Rise of Skywalker) to 10 (Shadowbringer/Endwalker), where would you place Veilguard?

critical post

I’ve burst into enraged tears like 5 times since I finished it, which is not nearly even close to as many times as Rise of Skywalker, but still 5 times too many. Just the shallowness of the writing, the obviousness, the incredible frustration at the simplicity, the ignoring so much of my favorite character in order to make a stupidly simple plot work, the horrendous time I had trying to ignore Rook’s annoying stupid fuckass pov while just trying to self-insert myself into the end of my favorite fictional character of all time’s story after waiting 10 years. I screamed in frustration that I had to hear the painfully obvious commentary these brand newcomer characters who I did not give a shit about, explaining to me like a toddler how I should feel about revelations I have been writing about for 10 years, especially when what they were saying was stupid as fuck. I cried at the thought of so many cutscenes and so much effort went into stories I found very forgettable and went nowhere, while they were able to only scrounge up like 10 total animated shots reuniting Solas and Lavellan. I mourn that I could not make any decisions in a BioWare game. I mourn Solas’ story so much, and probably will for years. I will never get over the way they talked down to him and never listened to him for even a second, lest they actually have to write a branching path into their game. I hate that the theme was regret but Rook regrets nothing ever so (shrugs) regret doesn’t affect them or mean anything to them. I mourn the loss of the voice and point of view of his people, the ones he was fighting for, the ones who are alive. I mourn that it turns out that he’s just a stupid feral dog who is 100% wrong about everything always and he always has been from the beginning of time. I cried that the game said the answer was that Solas should NOT try to help his people and they never even discussed it as a philosophical question or the ethics of it or anything, or playing as a character so dense they never once even wondered if accidentally freeing the gods killed more people overall than the veil coming down would have. (We avoided this question like the plague, lest we feel less like purely Good Heroes who could talk down to the gods with righteous fury). I mourn that I’m never going to know what would have happened without the Veil. I feel so stupid for thinking that elves or spirits as factions would appear in any capacity with lines and perspectives in this game. I’m so angry at how safe and smoothed over everything in the setting is, and how it felt like the main characters never struggled with anything and have nothing to say. I can’t believe Dragon Age is so shallow and unsatisfying and head-empty. I mourn that the story of Dragon Age is Over to me and I will never play another game.

I’ve also cried a few times at the completely separated and individual imagery and music in the last scene. I’ve cried that my favorite character didn’t die in any world after 10 years of being at death’s door. I’ve cried at the thought of him being a little worm spirit, and that I was right about him the whole time. I cried when activating Felassan’s crystal in the final fight and seeing all the buffs. I cried when I turned the page and realized the default inquisitor was exactly the same as my personal Lavellan, down to hair style, eye color, hair color, vallaslin removed. I cried when I realized Solas thought he should have died as a spirit rather than be born. I cried that the main story Dragon Age has been telling the whole time has been about the reconciliation and freeing of my favorite fictional character. I cried that Solas and Lavellan got married in the end, when I genuinely wasn’t expecting either of them to even be alive. They’re both still alive and in love in every single world. I can’t wrap my head around that.

I have no idea where to put it. It’s a few high highs but some intolerably low fucking lows. It could have been so much worse but the bar is on the fucking floor. I go back and forth between moderate enjoyment to just being so angry. It could have been so much more and I do not know who to bite for it.

I have no idea.

[voidsentprinces]

Look I see some people being like: man has ennui and ahendoria.

Okay, so Zenos has ennui and ahendoria. Assigning him a mental illness doesn't immediately make him a good character.

Emet-Selch had post-traumatic stress, depression, and megalomania. But he actually fucking was doing shit. And we got to learn about it.

What I've learned from Zenos is that he was the strongest in the universe, hated his dad, and the writers made him sit around and kept taping titles onto him to make it seem like they were uping the stakes but never actually doing anything about it. He told Fordola to do things, he had Aulus experiment on her, he died, he came back, he killed Varis, he broke a seal of Zodiark, and then he did nothing.

And an hour of screen time, Emet-Selch captured the hearts of and minds of not just the Final Fantasy XIV community but the Final Fantasy fandom as a whole. Dethroning Sephiroth from his 30+ year reign as the best Final Fantasy Villain from the public.

Zenos in the same amount of time was just okay and thirsted after by people who like tall buff pretty men who can actually just fucking kill them. But, as an asexual, I am going to need an actual character from a character outside of "I get excited cause fighting makes me feel alive. So the writers are going to either let me one shot you to pad out the run time or sit around and not fight for 99% of my screen time"

Like, he was brought back to boost Endwalker sales and be in the promo material but like a Jake Paul boxing match, the game was rigged from the start and its conclusion was lackluster.

...he's still pretty good at monologuing. Or at least Luke is good at monologuing.

[memorys-skyscraper]

finished clair obscur, so here's my no-spoilers review: 15/10 play this fucking game. it is my goty. does not matter what else comes out this year, nothing else is coming close. it is ASTOUNDING that the studio behind this game is like ~30 people, bc what a fucking achievement.

and now for spoilers

so of course the gameplay absolutely hits, its so satisfying how much you're rewarded for getting good at parrying and that if you just can't get the parry timing on something, you can still dodge and do fine. synergizing skills across the party so you can set up single attacks that do fucking insane amounts of damage feels SO good every time, it's so snappy and beautiful, just peak video gaming

but man. the story. lead writer jennifer svedberg-yen is my absolute goat. with these kinds of large-scale fantasy RPGs its so easy to get so lost in the world building that you end up with not much to latch on to emotionally, so to make it so that the entire story plus the core secrets of the world all boil down to a single family's grief is just so. chefs kiss. such a masterclass in building a story with no true villains, too- everyone's actions can be empathized with, it's just a tragic situation with no good answers. the closest thing to a true "villain" is painted renoir, but even he can be understood once you know who/what he is and why/how he was made. a video game has not gotten this many tears out of me since shadowbringers, i think. maybe endwalker

it was also really cool to see in the credits that they had dedicated mocap actors separate from the VAs, and MAN they killed it. i gotta give maxence cazorla in particular his flowers bc he did gustave and verso and renoir and all three have such distinct body language and mannerisms and it's just SO good. also did not know renoir was voiced by andy fucking serkis????? how do you just casually get him??? what was this game's budget???

anyway. absolute fucking peak. now its time to do all the optional content with verso in the baguette outfit

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Adventure

I've been comm'd by Agi's FFXIV in-game husband Dandelo to write a series of fics as he goes through Dawntrail.

In this first fic, Dandelo reemerges from his self-imposed exile post-Endwalker after the loss of his family and discovers a new adventure is precisely what he needs. SFW.

Dandelo Marx blinked.

That’s Agi’s home away from home.

But this isn’t Mist?????

WHERE AM I?!?!?!?!

“Oh fuck me, it’s Dandelo! Hello!” Agnes Currai Varlineau shouted from the now-open front door and rushed to hug the hrothgar. “It’s so good to see you! How are you?”

He embraced his friend and sighed. Still smells like cookies. She must keep whoever makes that shampoo in business. He then released her and took in Agnes’s features. Still the same Agi. “Alright. Been doing a little bit of this, a little bit of that.”

The hyur nodded, smiling warmly. “Well, why don’t you come in? Estinien and the children will be so happy to see you.” As she led him inside, several thoughts went through Dandelo’s mind.

CHILDREN!?!?!?

I thought there was Esme?????

Esme…and one more?

Damn, Agi.

There were, in fact, two more.

***

“So, you want to get back into things, eh?” Estinien asked as he poured Dandelo some coffee. With the boys napping and Esme playing with multicolored blocks (Agi said they’re a gift from Master Beatin and Fufucha), the three adults were able to catch up mostly unimpeded.

Dandelo nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! I think there’s been enough time for reflection and wallowing in horrific grief…I’m ready to have an adventure.” And live again.

Agnes shimmied happily as she sliced a piece of lemon cake with cream cheese frosting for him. “That’s so wonderful!!! Whenever you want to jump in, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m not sure how much of my letters you read…” Every word, Agi. Sorry I didn’t respond most of the time. “But I’ve been improving myself through taking a more active role in learning other classes so I can be a better mentor.” After handing him his cake slice, she sat back and laid a hand over her heart. “I’d like to think they’d be proud of me. You know? Their knowledge and experience were invaluable to me when I started. I hope I can do the same for others.”

Oh yes, Agi’s adventuring mentors.

The ones who died in the Calamity.

The ones who continue to inspire her even now.

Goddamn, Agi.

The highlander then giggled. “Oh dear, that’s quite enough of that. But yes, my dear friend, I’ll be there by your side whenever, wherever.” Her brown eyes widened. “How’s the cake?”

Dandelo smiled, taking a bite.

GODDAMN, AGI---THIS CAKE IS SO GOOD!!!

“The best fucking cake I’ve had in years.”

Estinien, can you not make fuck me eyes at your wife right now?!?!? I’m trying to eat this delicious cake!!!!

***

A few days later, in Sharlayan, Dandelo waited with Krile and G’raha outside whatever the hells this place is called. It’s a library. Nearby, Agnes leaned against a tree and gave the hrothgar a thumbs up. She had previously been contracted by whoever Wuk Lamat is to serve as one of her champions in whatever the hells it’s called. However, beginning the contest in her condition at the time was not possible.

Because Estinien would’ve killed them if they insisted on it.

Waiting until his dearest friend had her twins was quite literally the least this Wuk Lamat person could do.

And as luck would have it, she asked Wuk Lamat to meet with Dandelo to add him as another champion.

“Listen, mate---I told her you’re very dependable, very strong, very funny, great to be around. I think this is a slam dunk!”

“Sorry to keep you all waiting!”

Dandelo turned.

He saw a female hrothgar approach, waving at them.

Holy shit.

AGI, YOU DIDN’T SAY WUK LAMAT IS HOT!??!?!?!!?!?

AGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen was, apparently, Wuk Lamat, and she needed his help in securing the throne of her nation.

Whatever you want me to do for you, ma’am. I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. Everything. Kill anyone you want me to take out. You just say the word.

Dandelo was trying not to pay attention to Agnes doubled over in laughter.

Come on. It’s not that obvious.

Right?

I’m an older guy. She’s a younger, extremely hot princess who needs my help.

Right.

***

“You should’ve seen his face!” Agnes cackled, sipping her snurlberry lemonade at The Last Stand. She was recounting her and Dandelo’s afternoon with her husband and children as they had dinner.

On Agi because she insisted, and you don’t say no to her.

Dandelo rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t that bad.”

Agnes shook her head and picked up a fry. “Mate, you practically had little hearts in your eyes. Honestly, it was really cute!”

I am not cute.

Estinien glanced down at Esme, who was eating a fry exactly like her mother. Wow. Just…wow. “Uncle Dandelo has the hots for a princess. Isn’t that something, Es?”

OH COME ON!!!!

The toddler nodded happily and then ate another fry.

“See, even Esme thinks so!” Agnes teased with a wink. “Truly though, you deserve to be happy again. I say---go for it!”

***

After dinner, Dandelo found himself on the bench swing outside, beer in hand. He smiled when he saw his friend join him. “Go for it, huh?” he teased as he sipped.

“Yes. I think you should.” She laughed nervously. “Obviously, it’s your choice. The loss you endured was terrible---all-encompassing and colored your spirit for so long.” Turning her head, her gaze met his. “However, you’ve come out the other side…” That grin!! “Mostly hale and whole.”

He rolled his eyes. “Mostly.”

She giggled and gave him a nudge with her elbow. “And remember, all the grandest adventures have a love story! Why not have it be yours, Dandelo?”

Why not me?

Why not…

She’s right.

You know she’s right.

But it’s like with coming back to adventuring…

One step at a time.

“You think this is going to be a grand adventure?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Agnes leaned back and looked forward towards the Ruby Sea. How the fuck did she get a beachfront Medium in Shirogane?!?!?! Chuckling softly, she smiled. “Of course. I’ve got a…good feeling.”

Agi’s feelings are usually right.

I hope she’s right.

[ragnarokalypse]

I am usually a lurker. I don't really post anything...ever, anymore, but I am so incredibly disappointed by this expansion that I felt the need to chime in my sentiments, just to get it off my chest.

I am one of the few people that loved ARR, before the "streamlining." I was hooked in the first 10 levels and the game had me in a stranglehold all the way through Endwalker. Everything after 6.0 was...eh...but I love the game so I stuck with it. I also loved Stormblood, and I've walked away from Dawntrail loving it even more, because hoo boy, does Wuk Lamat give me a new appreciation for Lyse.

I don't have a problem with low stakes. I don't have a problem with fetch questing, building my reputation, and just generally doing menial tasks even when people should be acting with a little more urgency. My beef with this expansion isn't that it's "new", "low-key", "a reset", or anything like that. My beef is Wuk Lamat.

This entire expansion is basically the Wuk Lamat show. The WoL does not really forge any new relationships, they don't really explore anything, they don't really do anything, and when they do, it's hijacked by Wuk Lamat. I swear I think my character was introduced by name to a citizen maybe...once. Instead, we have to sit there watching Wuk Lamat do everything that I want to do in a story that is supposed to be about the character I've spent years investing time and emotional effort into. I want my character to be the one making friends, exploring new cultures, and building a positive reputation with the people. When the first half ended and we FINALLY got to go do something without her, I was excited. I was willing to forgive the first half because it felt like the REAL journey was just getting started.

But nope, back to Wuk Lamat. Back to her being the main character and my character, the character I actually love and have painstakingly developed over years, being sidelined. In the final battle, I was again excited because FINALLY, a good old fashioned WoL vs The Enemy showdown. But what's this? Oh, Wuk Lamat again. In the epilogue, everyone celebrated for three days and three nights to "hail the Dawnservant's victory." Like, what? She shows up in that last 20% and gets the credit? Excuse me? I don't dislike Wuk Lamat even if I do deeply dislike her type of character, but I do resent the massive amounts of space she takes up in what is supposed to be my character's story.

Maybe I'm selfish, maybe it's just a me problem, but I play MMOs to tell stories about characters in fun worlds that I get to craft to my liking. If I wanted to play a game of pre-existing characters and watch/experience their journey, I'd go boot up literally any other Final Fantasy game. I have seen people liken this expansion to World of Warcraft, and I agree, to an extent. However, even though WoW doesn't have your character be center stage, I have always felt like the world was expansive enough for you to tell your own independent stories in the background. I have a whole host of characters in the WoWverse that I've developed over the years, and I never felt like I was held back from being creative because of the overarching narrative choices made by the game because, ultimately, my character was not a central figure and I could do what I wanted.

Here, I'm trapped. I can't say my character is off doing something else because she's literally tied to Wuk Lamat through the entire expansion and the shard key will probably be important later. I went through 3 days of cutscenes and walked away with pretty much nothing that I feel inspires me creatively or gives me any new material to build my character's story. Instead, I'm left feeling like I'm having to struggle to explain why she's being so passive and out-of-character. Is it trauma? Is she drunk? You got me. I'm still figuring it out, and figuring it out is a struggle that I have never experienced in this game. It isn't fun, which kills the creativity even more.

I might have been more forgiving of the story if it were reframed around the characters I actually care about and I got to experience the world instead of sitting back and watching Wuk Lamat experience it for me, but as it stands, I didn't really enjoy any of it save the American old west town where we got to hang out with Erenville, blissfully Wuk Lamat free. I swear they're the only people in the story that actually talked to us and learned our names. I think the best example of how little I enjoyed myself is in how many screenshots I took. I took almost 3,000 screenshots throughout my first Endwalker playthrough. Here, I took less than 100.

I will continue to stick with XIV for a while to see where it goes from here, but if this is the new story direction and philosophy - tell a story through other characters first - then I may just have to sadly resign myself to the fact that my character's story ended with 6.0, and go off to greener pastures where I can craft characters and build stories in ways that are more to my liking.

Overall, 1/10. I can't even rank it amongst other expansions because even the lowest ranked expansion for me is one that I love. Dawntrail is in a league of dislike and resentment all its own.

[littlelordalphinaud]

now i wanna know more about valentina the galvus family makes me go crazy

Valentina is Zenos' eldest daughter!

She was based on the idea of Varis realising that the way he'd treated Zenos had kinda ended the family line by virtue of his son being the perfect warrior but with 0 interest in anything, or anyone, else.

So finds a noble woman of good breeding and arranges a marriage and makes it clear to Zenos that you do your husbandly duty once a week until you have a son.

And so along came Valentina!

And then her two younger sisters and then finally her brother, the actual heir.

Valentina desperately wants her father's love and attention. So she taught herself SAM swordsmanship from watching him, to try and impress him, despite it not being "A ladies place" to do so.

Again, when Solus dies she leaves Garlemald to go to Eorzea, but her drive is that she still wants her Father's attention and care and affection and believes that proving herself a great warrior will earn that for her. And she's aware of Rhan Dei-Ijla, the Warrior of Light who defeated Gaius (who again belongs to @instantbee . We both have character creation problems and enjoy enabling one another)

So up she shows and asks Rhan if she can help!

Valentina has no great love for Garlemald but that's not on any particular moral grounds. It's more simply that her Father is the only person she's ever really cared about, and since he has very little interest in the empire, neither does she.

During Heavensward, while helping Rhan with Bismark, she is reunited with her grandfather, Varis. She's quite excited to see him, while he immediately disowns her and names her 'vaitor', stripping her of her 'wir'. Valentina is surprisingly upset by this, while Rhan and Alphinaud both agreed to keep her identity as the former princess a secret.

Stormblood was incredibly difficult for Valentina. She was excited to see her Father again, only for him to dismiss her, attack her friends, send her flying, and try and kill Rhan. She spent a lot of that expansion in something of a fugue state as even with her disowning, she held out hope that her Father would care about her if she proved herself strong enough, and it just... Never happened.

She does manage to pull out of it, thankfully, and firmly places herself on Rhans side of things, as Rhan and the Scions actually care about her.

Other things about Valentina:

She ends up an Omnicrafter as she finds herself fascinated by how everything is made. She genuinely stumbled into it but it got put into hyperdrive during her 3 years in the First, as she worked at the Crystalline Mean in between helping the guard in Lakeland

Rhan is the reason she figured out she was gay. It took a concerningly long time because she'd never been particularly told it was an option so assumed this was just how people felt about their friends.

Her mother, two sisters, and younger brother all got tempered during Endwalker. Valentina does not know their ultimate fate. She's too afraid to go home and find out.

She was only 19 when she went to Eorzea.

On the boat to Doma, in a somewhat desperate attempt to bring her out of the soul deep depression that was consuming her, Lyse started teaching Valentina to be a MNK. At this point in the game, she's a VPR but still maintains her MNK training to help herself stay on an even keel.

After Stormblood, but before she gets pulled to the First, Valentina starts actually looking into the Garlean Empire properly, and privately vows to do what she helped to do in Doma and Ala Mhigo in every place they conquered.

She's a big part of the Bozja storyline, working tirelessly to help them, never expecting them to warm to her existence but wanting to help them anyway.

Because of her upbringing, Valentina can read music, sew, sing and dance. These are not skills many know she possesses.

Despite the disowning, the Anima fight in Endwalker was a difficult one for Valentina. Unfortunately, with literally everything else that was going on in Endwalker, she didn't really get the chance to process it for quite some time

There we go, that's Valentina, the sweetest princess ever raised by a nation of warmongers!

[aotopmha]

I have Endwalked!

The scenes that got me were the scene with Alisae, G'raha and Krile before Ultima Thule and the final scene with Meteion.

The scene with G'raha, Alisae and Krile felt so sincere in its concern for you. I just thought it was super sweet.

With emotionally evocative stories that are created under the wing of huge companies and/or related to massive franchises like FF, I always have this sense in the back of my mind going off saying that it's all product and it's really there to butter up the customer, but 14 really does feel sincere to me.

(While still sometimes buttering up the customer.)

If the writers don't believe in what they are writing, then I think they are at least thinking about what the characters believe in from an emotionally sincere standpoint.

I think stories that delve into these nuanced and difficult topics have to have some form of empathic human behind them.

And well, even if there isn't, they sure make me believe they stand by what they write.

(Which, I think, in itself is a characteristic of good writing: people believing in it.)

And my favorite part about the final scene with Meteion is that the answer she arrives at, the answer Hermes was looking for, is a substantial, clearly spelled out belief, which is also backed by ten years of story context.

It is one of my favorite thematic focuses for a story to begin with, but even without the ten years behind it, I think just how the prose expressed this idea is what made it so powerful to me.

The phrasing/expression of a sentiment itself can go such a long way to make age-old concepts powerful. (Which technically is just the fundamental truth of good writing, isn't it?)

I think that's another reason why the scene with Moenbryda's parents hits so many despite Moenbryda being a character from one patch back from years ago.

The issue with [insert trope here] never was the idea itself. It's always whether you can believe in the trope via the writing. Stories are made up of so many different aspects: context, story length, plotting etc. I think all of that kind of melts away in the face of powerful dialog itself, and in turn even if everything else is good, bad dialog can also take away a lot from a story.

I'm so happy whenever a long-running story ends on substance and I don't have to deal with awkward prose in its most final moments.

(Attack on Titan fan screaming in frustration here.)

Speaking of substance, though, I'd also like to bring up the few Alisae lines I've been really eager to talk about in relation to the story's exploration of emotional suffering.

I love this because it is just as much relevant to Alisae as a character and her relationship with her brother and their support for each other than it is thematically for Endwalker as a whole.

Again, it might lean into the age-old "power of friendship" trope, but I think It's such an important nuance to include in stories like this.

The sentiment of "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" is not actually true and with so many different beliefs in the story having this element, I think getting this detail as one of the final sentiments regarding this thematic idea is very good.

What is true is that everyone handles emotionally painful moments differently and as long as there are other people in the world, nobody is destined to suffer alone. Others are here to carry our burdens with us, so they aren't so heavy.

We just really need to work on understanding and patience towards those who are suffering.

I have so much more to say about the final stretch of the story, which I'll probably go into in much more detail in upcoming posts, but for a little bit more basic analysis of the game content itself, I loved the Dead Ends dungeon and the Endsinger trial.

Dead Ends had some great mechanics in there for bosses as well as fantastic narrative aspects. Might be my favorite "big moment" story dungeon.

And I love the planet positioning mechanic of the Endsinger trial. It's super satisfying to resolve right for me.

Actually finishing Endwalker has cemented FF14 as a whole as one of my favorite games ever.

In terms of Endwalker itself, I love the jobs at their full depth, but starting from Stormblood I've really liked the dungeon content and starting from ShB, even the solo duties have been ranging for solid to great! Only the expansion trials can be a little hit and miss for me (I think the trial series themselves have all rocked starting HW).

So it is onward to patch content, Alliance Raid and Raid series for me. Also Role Quests, Variant/Criterion dungeons and many other bits of content I haven't done yet. (Finally planning to try and go for a house since I have saved up a bunch of gil!)

[bronzecauldron]

I was planning to hold off on writing down my thoughts on Endwalker's MSQ until I had finished the remaining patch quests to review it in its entirety but my momentum has significantly slowed to a crawl while I focus on other objectives in game oh well, I officially beat 6.0 on February 6th and if I don't do it now I'll never get it done.

It's quite lengthy sorry, but I only really delve into certain areas and very few characters, and much of what happens among the main supporting cast I gloss over. I only expect 2 or 3 people at most to fully read it so this is REAL blogging.

I vocalize this every chance I get but I greatly dislike MMOs and playing games with other people in general. Especially if it's mostly comprised of strangers. The extent of my interest is usually contained within Animal Crossing co-op. For FFXIV to have made me sink nearly 600 hours of playtime is a massive feat in my eyes. I don't think I have it in me to ever want to play another MMO again but I'm willing to say I loved progressing throughout this game and I'm glad i chose to stick with it for once. I have previously tried playing twice within the last ten years and never made it to gaining my first job stone in either attempts. I'm not sure what clicked for me now but what a ride it has been.

Firstly I'd like to thank the development team for creating the most perfect antagonist Zenos it's like he was grown in a lab specifically to attack my brain neurons. I wish they'd release a Bring Arts figure of him already, preferably of both his SB and EW designs, to charge 200 real dollars to my credit card so I can gaze longingly at a plastic doll for my remaining 60 years or so I have left on this earth if I am lucky. Do no listen to online essayists who insist Zenos death was the perfect end to his arc I think he should return as soon as it is convenient for the writers to shoehorn him back inside my computer. In Portuguese myth it was once believed that King Sebastiao will return to serve the nation once again when he is needed most and I have been gripped by a similar fanaticism. Zenos will come back and him and my adventurer will chase each other across fields of Mars as they are wont to do. He was neither good nor kind but I still feel a swell of affection for his crazy ass.

I have more I wish to say about Zenos but then this post would really begin to drag on... The biggest strength of Endwalker is easily its music. Any song that spotlights the piano is my favorite. Out of all the music involved in FFXIV, Endwalker's tracks are ones I go out of my way to listen the most. I wish at some point in the future there is documentation of the process of creating FFXIV from initial planning, story boarding, 3D design and rendering, and how this process effected Soken and his team's compositions. I can only imagine the effort it took to create the soundtrack for Endwalker, it really was a treat to listen to.

Tangent: If anyone reading this loves the more majestic melodies in EW do yourself a favor and listen to Sufjan Stevens' Age of Adz album. I'm trying to build a bigger crossover of Sufjan and FFXIV fans please help me deepen this connection.

Fandaniel was a fun villain I really, really liked whenever he was on screen. I already felt positive about Asahi so introducing the new big bad in the skin of a previous character was cool considering I was disappointed Asahi (as far as I knew at the time) only appeared during Stormblood's patch quests and died shortly before Shadowbringers began. Asahi's final final exit was great, I'm glad I saw him speak as himself one last time. I appreciate even after killing himself as Zodiark, Fandaniel/Amon still had much to say later on in the dungeon before the Hydaelyn fight.

Old Sharlayan is a my least favorite location but not because it sucks on a game design level I just don't like its citizens, even before playing Endwalker I already made up my mind on how much I didn't like these bookworms who had abandoned their dope ass city in the hinterlands just because they didn't want to get involved with Garlemald and my opinion only soured after learning they fully intended to leave the world on the moon ship these guys suck so bad their food sucks and neutrality is so ugly. I wish at some point the MSQ spoke more in length on how being neutral and refusing to interfere in the troubles of Eorzea was a cowardly position I think Sharlayans should have felt a bit more shame just being in the presence of the Warrior of Light. Harrumph.

My cold reception to Sharlayan lead to a much warmer and brighter view of Thavnair, even in the beginning with the evil tower looming over it. Post-6.0 Thavnair is such a joy to fly around in and I love being in Radz-at-Han it's so gorgeous. I love the Matanga tribes so much they're so cute. Vtra using a puppet body of a child to hang out with his people because he's afraid to freak them out with his true form of a dragon is great, Thavnair is his nest and he freaking loves all his citizens to the point he was unwilling to harm them even as they began to deform during the return of the final days.

Garlemald I haven't much to say about: Camp Broken Glass is kinda uninteresting by itself, I enjoyed flying over the ruins of the capital city but that's the extent of my feelings. The cast of minor characters you meet in Garlemald definitely carry the experience. Watching Jullus go from being a good soldier to the empire to just trying to do good for his people was awright! He's growing, he's kind of a good guy now! I like him a lot.

Time to talk about Elpis. I still love the Ancients, I understand the grief Emet-Selch went through to restore his home but I think his behavior post-sundering fully sets in how strange and unappealing their society is. I'm mostly with Hermes on how careless Amaurotines act towards beings they think are lesser to them. I'm glad the player is sent to Elpis and not Amaurot, although I would have loved to roam the streets as it once were and not within the bottom of the sea. Elpis really highlights the Ancients attitude of treating their world like an ant farm. Ah well, but I have such appreciation for them regardless.... I think Emet-Selch's devotion to his old world endears it to me, and as I played along felt small remorse they would have to endure terror and an unmaking of their souls. I wish during the MSQ there had been some kind of confrontation between Emet-Selch and Venat who stood at wide opposition of the future of their star.

Emet-Selch's inclusion in Endwalker was so funny I loooove this grandpa. Comparing him in Elpis to his role in ShB just underscores that this is the same exact guy after 12,000 or so years. The first sacrifice, and recurring deaths to Zodiark encapsulates his willingness to perform acts of cruelty to save something he loves. He's so sick in the headddd and I wouldn't have him any other way I'm EmetSelchFan1996 his love did not make him greater it made him worse and worse and worse he was playing Emet-Selch's Civilization on the lives of the source and its' reflections for fun to achieve his goals. And when he leaves one last time after helping prior to the final fight, while encouraging the WOL to seek further travels and engage with the world they must save, he still insists this world sucks and he doesn't want to come back. Fucking asshole. My god.

Although my interest in gaming as a hobby is waning as I get older, I really hope Square Enix devise some kind of plan to publish an offline version of the Hydaelyn story arc to replay well into the future. It is sad to think there may be a time where such an experience is unavailable decades or so from now. I still enjoy replaying games I've beat before but I don't know if I'm willing to engage with every single MMO aspect of the story just to see it again...

Ok here's my ranking of each X.0 patch excluding Dawntrail:

Stormblood #1 baby 10/10 when I first finished SB and posted about it on tumblr it was such a small reaction so I'm going to say it here, having an expansion involving the WOL helping two differing nations resist Garlemald's grip on their livelihood felt sooo good I think it's awesome going from being the beloved hero of Eorzea and Ishgard to realizing there are people in the world who have worked untiringly to free themselves by the Garlean invasion for many years prior, and although it was the help of one adventurer backed by divinity to manage to turn the tides in their favor, it was ultimately the people of Ala Mhigo and Othard to stand and fight and keep the faith that they'll one day be free. Stormblood is so beautiful can they do it like Star Wars and release a novelization of it so I can have it by my side foreverrrrr

Shadowbringers at #2 I've already spoken a little more into detail about how I felt playing ShB here.

#3 Endwalker you'd think after how much I enjoyed EW I'd rate it higher but this is FFXIV at its most Marvel movie-esque and much of EW's higher moments rely on past knowledge to build up the emotional pay off. But it's a satisfying end and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

#4 Heavensward and A Realm Reborn are equally as good to me and I am a firm believer that ARR is enjoyable if you let it take you along for the ride instead of insisting 'it gets good 100 hours in' but I understand when it hits the bottom on personal rankings because it really is fucking long, and after I have completed it once I'm not inclined to want to do it all over again (as well as I have a bias against elves and I don't want to hang out in Ishgard any time soon.)

Anyway if you made it this far,

[ooeygooeyghoul]

I definitely wasn't expecting them to kill Thancred out of nowhere like that but I'm not as distressed as I would have been if I didn't see him in the Dawntrail trailer ahaha. I'm sure whatever happens next will still not be fun, but I do so look forward to the pain this game will continue to inflict on me. I cannot wait to get back to my computer and finish this thing.

On the plus side, these upsetting series of events further validates a lot of things about Shiun's canon and personality. Thancred and his fucking sacrificial tendencies, I swear. I'm getting so many good ideas for more angst art and storytelling. If Shiun was not okay before, he is soooo much worse now lmaooo. Thank you Endwalker.

[iamluzgar]

I finally finished FFXIV Dawntrail and I have many many thoughts about it. So, spoilers, and bare with me.

I had a lot of troubles to get into it at first, but I always feel that way for much of the extension I've played so it didn't change much. I pushed through, and I'm glad I did. I loved the theme of discovering new people and cultures to get to know them, and to like them. Which was an ongoing thing.

I liked Wuk Lamat a lot as a character. She's a bit immature, but she has a lot of potential, as you say to Gulool Ja. Loved having Thancred and Urianger against me for a change, especially in that dungeon. I got into it more and more, wanting Wuk Lamat to succeed because there were many hints showing she would do well (like for example with the bandits, I saw another post on tumblr mentioning it, but she directly thought about a system failiure problem, rather than thinking the people were bad). She adapted herself to the best of her ability to the culture she met with an open mind, even when she was afraid, unsure or disagreed with it. The VA did a fantastic job imo for her voice.

Of course the rest of the gang was here too and it was incredible. I loved how Erenville finally got the spotlight he so deserved. I wasn't a fan of Krile, but now I do like her and that's the power of FFXIV imo.

Anyway, the first part was great, and it was an important part because the WoL can finally indulge in some "selfish" actions like battling big dudes, deities, eating stuff, traveling, meeting people, doing the good old Azem and I think they'd be proud. The game keeps pushing you Emet, from what he said to you on the last expansion, and I liked that, it keeps him alive. I obviously missed Venat, Hythlodaeus, Elidibus and Emet a lot from this expansion, so it was nice to have some mentions of them. However, especially with the second part of the game, you realize how the shadow of the Ascien still fly above us and all of the reflections. Because I am persuaded they had a hand in the creation of electrope and the key.

The second part was even greater. It started weak with the Western like stuff (I'm not a fan of that and it felt like post-MSQ quests), but then it really starts: not only it brings back stakes (because... Well, I laughed when people made Valigarmanda a "big threat", considering we killed Despair a few months ago in the game), but it also is a pay off from the first part. You grew attached to Wuk Lamat, to Tuliyollal and its people. And now they're in danger.

Which brings us to New Alexandria, with its strange culture of pushing away death. The whole part with Alexandria felt like a metaphore from our own real world. We too, tend to push death away, put people dying away from society and from our eyes, forget them. It really resonated with my experience, especially considering I've been a volunteer in palliative care for a year. The whole thing of accepting death is a main topic in this second part of the game.

We brushed a bit too fast over the identity issues Zoraal Ja felt, I feel, sadly. I wish we could have had a bit more to humanize him.

Then the last zone... It truly touched my soul. We do the exact opposite thing that we did in Endwalker. In Endwalker, we started from nothing, we added music, colors, we reanimated species from death. In Dawntrail, we "turned off" people, we removed the colors and the songs from the places we were visiting. It was powerful to observe it, doing a different kind of walk, maybe even a harder one. Idk for WoL, but it was harder for me. Because we were still "killing" people, and we can only sympathize with Sphene's desires to let her people live more, whatever the cost of it. We hope and pray there might be another way for everybody to be happy.

It brings me back to palliative care in the real world. This world Sphene created, was a metaphor for therapeutic obstinacy and the artificial prolongation of life. At some point, there is nothing you can do, and you have to "pull the plug". You have to say good bye. To your own family, to your friends, to people you knew more or less. What's left of them then? All the memories you had with them, and that's it, and as the Yok Huy's philosophy, they kinda live through you that way.

Contrary to Meteion, our action of killing the people in that zone was not born of desperation of not being able to save them, but from an acknowledgement that this artificial prolongation of life is no longer sustainable, it will give more pain and will sacrifice ressources that could be given to people who still have a chance to continue living. At some point, when there is no chance to sustain a life, we need to make peace with the fact that it's over. That death is a part of life, and might always be. The next day always happen, with a beautiful sunset, new lives, new hopes, new stories, and new adventures, with new people. It's an end, but it's not the end.

As someone who lost my mom when I was a teenager, it was comforting to see those moms having so much hope, love and pride for their children. I could hear my own mom through them. We see a lot of moms, and we have to say good bye to a lot of them, and that was difficult. I both hate and like the fact that FFXIV has a tendency to kill moms or otherwise important female caretaking figures. :( They displayed a lot of different relationships between family members regarding their future death, and that was also interesting. Family, in the large sense of it, was a very big topic of this expansion.

On a gameplay part, I loved almost everything. They upped up the difficulty a notch, and it was perfect. I love how they made new ways of seeing AoE while also still making it clear it's an AoE. Very good ideas there. Loved the last two dungeons.

I was not a fan of the music this extension, but well nothing is perfect. I'm not a fan of FFIX and obviously a lot was taken from it.

Hope that didn't bore you out!

TL;DR Incredible writing as usual.

[catboxghost]

ok i saw someone talking about like. how the wol feels about everything going on, whether theyre having a good time or not being on this big adventure and i had some Thoughts, a lot of Thoughts, with regards to my wol and i need to write this down so it will stop bouncing around in my head (and i can finish endwalker)

spoilers for shadowbringers!!

at this point kitali is absolutely fucking miserable. just having a shit awful time. this is a psychological horror game to her. she had a pretty sweet life back in the steppe, doing fuckall, looking after her sheep. and then that was all ripped away from her by the empire, she lost her home and her family and was set adrift before coming to eorzea because it was the only place left to go. she ended up joining the scions because they had ostensibly similar goals to her, fighting back against the garleans and liberating the world, and possibly helping her find her mom and sister, which has been her goal for years by now. and so she gladly lets herself be turned into a weapon and be pointed at the nearest existential threat, and somehow finds herself able to overcome impossible odds again and again, much to her surprise. she even has a pretty good time for a little bit, and the scions really do become her friends. and then eventually she does find her mother and sister: her sister had been pressed into service as a maidservant at doma castle, and her mother married a wealthy imperial lord. she doesn't have to save either of them anymore. it's about at this point that she realizes just how badly she'd allowed herself to be manipulated and used. there's still two whole nations to liberate, but the resentment starts to simmer. post-stormblood she's kinda like "oh wow you guys aren't actually my friends, you're my employers" to the scions and the eorzean alliance. she can't really be mad at alphinaud because he's just a particularly idealistic kid whose desperation and naivete were also taken advantage of, but she's not a soldier, and she never wanted to be, and she's sick of being treated like one. and yet she will continue to be, because at this point fighting is all she knows. this becomes especially egregious in shadowbringers where the whole "living weapon" thing is placed front and center as every enemy she defeats literally starts to turn her into a monster; the more she fights, the worse she gets, and nobody can help her. this culminates in her having a big screaming sobbing breakdown in front of ghostbert and falling into a week-long depressive episode alone in her room. and this is before she starts throwing up blood from eating angels! (as an aside the whole g'raha/exarch "haha i was secretly manipulating you" thing hits so damn good in kitali's story, because he really did only ever know her as an unstoppable hero, and then she actually shows up as this shy, sad girl angry at the whole world, and now he's about to do the exact same thing to her that everyone else in her life did and make her go kill things he wants dead, and it makes him feel guilty!! and so at the end when he's about to make his big sacrifice, he's all like "aha yes, i used you the whole time, you were just another pawn to me" in hopes that she'll hate him, so that she won't try to stop him when he blows himself up. but it doesn't work because she wuvs him <3) post-shadowbringers she kind of starts to accept it, even internalize it, in a nihilistic sort of way. like "yknow what? fine. all i do is kill things. i am the hyper-lethal vector, the gun pointed at the head of the universe, hydaelyn's special little murder machine. my life doesn't belong to me anymore and apparently it never really did, so why fight it?" and so everything that happens in endwalker (so far) just kind of bounces right off of her. this does not improve her mood in any way.

[aotopmha]

And I'm done with the lvl 87 Endwalker quests, ending on the Venat cutscene.

The very first thought that jumps out to me is actually an annoyance: I really don't care for when the story uses jumpscares.

The only time during the game I have thought it was effective happened to be with Edda and it's because the mood was built for it in different ways.

It didn't work with Titania's introduction and it effectively annoyed me with Meteion.

Her transitioning to a grown woman's voice and listing off the dead worlds in a robotic tone was effective enough.

But they just keep doing the jumpscares with her and the more they do the less effective it is for me.

But to transition to some more character thoughts, I love how Hermes's words towards Meteion are also relevant towards Hermes himself.

"Though I gave you these wings to soar the heavens, I did not teach you how to walk the earth."

In the end, as Emet said, Hermes could not see anything good right in front of him on Etheirys. He simply could not find happiness or purpose in his own world, so he hoped to find it in others.

And so it lead to his flawed question and the painful result of it for the rest of the world and Meteion.

He hoped he would find the answer for his quest for meaning in other worlds. Perhaps use those discoveries to pave the way for a more empathic world that did not deny negative feelings. Perhaps to convince the ancients all lives had value. Perhaps to find companionship in his sadness and loneliness.

It was a two-sided issue, as the ancients also worked to not look at negativity, which probably would have had some bad consequences on a bigger scale eventually, no matter how you look at it.

Again, we go back to the idea of mental illness creating tunnel vision. All Hermes could see was the flaws of the society, but the society itself also did not address the issues within. (Or did they, looking at some of the side quests in Elpis?)

Across all of Endwalker, the idea of emotional resillience has popped up over and over again.

And when I first reached some of the parts about emotional resillience while watching someone else's playthrough, I really wasn't sure about the story leaning into the idea of "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".

Thavnair especially felt this way.

And that perspective is incredibly hostile towards the individualised nature of emotional struggles. What doesn't kill you does not, in fact, always make you stronger.

But Elpis and everything afterwards put in a lot of effort to make it much more nuanced than that.

"As fragmented, imperfect beings, yours is a never-ending quest. A quest to find your purpose, knowing your end is assured. To find the strength to continue, when all strength has left you. To find joy, even as darkness descends. And admist deepest despair, light everlasting."

Might just be the most important quote of Endwalker.

In reality what the game says (at least what I think the writers aim to say and I read the story as) is that we should try to appreciate the good when we have it because it isn't eternal.

And yet we should not look away from the bad and instead digest it in a healthy way.

As I touched on a few lines above, I think the point of the characterisation of the ancients is that negative feelings hurt, but burying and invalidating them will end up hurting more and more and eventually lead to some sort of issues.

Therapy good.

And as the Ascians show us, their tactics just lead to more and more sacrifices, to the point where it started feeling worse and worse and the rift between the two sides of the ancients happens.

The world of the ancients treats mental illness just like our world does and this story is simply commenting on the current mental health crisis, which was even worse during Covid times.

I'll touch on it more in my upcoming posts because I know that Alisae has a few really important lines regarding this idea, but I know I had this criticism for a while and I was really happy the story addressed it.

Another criticism I see Endwalker given is related to precisely the idea that by creating this causal loop the game implies all of this suffering HAD to happen (and that is why it is okay), everyone had to be sundered to survive and thus it fully also excuses Venat's actions.

But to me the nuance here is that while the game agrees with Venat, it never says what she did was "right".

"I create a world of suffering to mire and plague."

She created so much suffering by sundering the world.

And to me that's what makes it interesting. The Goddess of Light, image of "all good" was driven by her own very human beliefs to save humanity, which also lead to much suffering.

Neither side is completely right or wrong and to me that's the most interesting part of this.

Even if affinity to Dynamis was necessary for humanity to survive.

Even if the 13th is an useless void so the full Rejoining was never possible to begin with.

Even if the Ancients just kept sacrificing themselves and were on a path of unsustainable self-destruction, Venat still caused untold suffering with her choice.

And she takes full responsibility for it.

And to me that's a super cool element to the struggle between the two sides of the ancients.

Because on the other side, the Ascians absolutely were driven by love for their people. This was true all the way through.

Duty, love, desire to get back their paradise. There WAS so much beauty and actual kindness in the ancient world, it just had its own struggles, just like the present world gas its own.

Both sides were literally fighting for the same thing.

One looking to the past. One looking to the future.

And I just do not get why people have the need to appoint the right and wrong in this conflict when I think both having their own flaws is the entire point (and far more interesting to me).

I think Venat's manouvering after Hermes uses Kairos goes under this, too.

Her decisions are all driven by her personal perspective as a character (what she believes in, what she gleaned from Meteion's words etc). I've seen her judgements and the memory erasure be criticised as too wishy-washy on a writing level, but I like it because it is so tied to the characters of those affected.

To me her caution and hesitation makes sense considering what is at stake, especially.

I think Emet is the shaky one because I feel he would look into this as deeply as he could. He accepts his memory being gone a little too easily, I think, but I take it considering the biggest tangible loss we see is two familiars (Meteion and WoL).

Finally, I'll comment on the dungeon.

I think Ktisis Hyperboreia is probably my least favourite of the Endwalker dungeons up to this point.

But that also doesn't mean I hate it. I just think we've had so much cooler set pieces and also much cooler bosses with cooler mechanics in other dungeons.

This IS a dungeon in the ancient world with you exploring an ancient facility and you get the ancients as Trusts, which is super cool, but outside of the final third almost being space, it didn't feel particularly unique or interesting to me as a set piece.

I did notice a bunch of bird cages in a room and the notes, but setting aside, the first two bosses in particular were nothing special to me mechnically, either.

The Hermes boss fight did cause some wipes, though. The beams had a very particular pacing a positioning, which caught me off guard and others in the team also had forgotten the fight so we had 4-5 wipes at the Hermes fight, I think.

Overall, though, once again, a very solid bit of story in my eyes.

[anneapocalypse]

Dawntrail level 96

Hoo boy.

I got to the attack on Tuliyollal last night and it's still sinking in. This game does just an amazing job with getting you attached to a place before setting it on fire, and I think seeing this beautiful city under attack affected me even more than similar moments in Ishgard or Rhalgr's Reach or the Crystarium. I think in part because all of those places were already at war when we arrived, so seeing them attacked was dramatic but not shocking in the same way. Tuliyollal was enjoying a time of prosperity and peace, and there was such hope that the succession of Dawnservant would be smooth and painless for her people. And then for their own First Promise to swoop in with this terrifying alien (maybe not literally alien-from-outer-space but certain feels alien in this setting) technology, attack his own people, and kill his father in front of his brother and sister... it was heartbreaking to watch. Koana and Wuk Lamat were both great, and I've gotten very fond of both of them as characters so I was invested, but it was Wuk Lamat's reaction that really got me. It was so well-written and well-acted, not only her grief for her father, but her sense of responsibility to her people, her anger and grief at (from her point of view) failing to protect them.

So the question remains: what was in the City of Gold?

While there is dialogue about the outer entrance not looking like any Allagan design our heroes had ever seen... the inner door, the one they didn't open, did look very Allagan to me. I think that is probably not the whole answer, especially since the ships and armor and weaponry Zoraal Ja brings out doesn't look especially Allagan. With all the glowing purple, I do wonder if it might be meant to remind us of something... Mandervillous? It's certainly not a perfect match, but is it possible that this technology comes from an alien civilization similar to the origin of the Manderville family, if not the same one?

And then there's the mysterious woman we just barely caught a glimpse of in the attack on Tuliyollal.

Could be aliens, could be Allagans, could be ancients, could be a secret other thing! I do have a feeling that some kind of Allagan connection is going to be why we finally get G'raha back. I miss him! And Y'shtola, and OH FUCK WHAT IF THIS TECHNOLOGY IS FROM ANOTHER REFLECTION, OR OTHERWISE RELATED TO CROSS-RIFT TRAVEL. That would be a good reason to get her back!

I wish I didn't have Things to Do today because I can hardly wait to continue! 😱

(Also I'm enjoying the fact that Mr. Apocalypse is playing Endwalker while I play Dawntrail, so while I cannot yet yell to him about what's happening for me, I am getting to hear his yelling about Endwalker, and shit's getting real for him just as it is for me, and that's pretty great.)

[maguneedsalife]

T'zekhwalker - Final Zenos Fight

i spent so much time here it needed its own post. i'd be lying if i said this one scene wasn't a main reason i pushed t'zekh through the main story (the other was i wanted him to get to 90/get the rdm artifact gear so he could wear his canon glam but you know)

so, some background for folks who are new here: t'zekh was the main wol for stormblood. he was the one zenos became obsessed with, and he has spent most of endwalker trying to get zenos to leave him alone. he knows zenos desperately wants t'zekh to kill him--to come at him with fire and rage and bloodlust--but t'zekh refuses to kill anyone no matter how much they deserve it.

i had been waiting so long for t'zekh to be able to do this dialog choice and the answer i had envisioned for him actually changed from the time i did this with aoife. originally i'd thought he'd go with option 2, but by the time i got here, 3 was more his style.

which ended up being a good thing, because zenos's response to that answer was fucking perfect for t'zekh

small aside--it drove me bonkers back when spoiler embargo first lifted and ppl (mostly on twitter) were INSISTING that answer 1 was the only possible canon answer and if you picked any of the others you were clearly playing the game wrong. even despite yoshi p confirming that there was no "correct" answer and the team had tried to write it so that players could respond to zenos the way they felt best reflected their own character's experience. people were STILL out there like "sorry but if you didnt pick option 1 you're just wrong"

so to see the text validate my choice and my hcs so perfectly has me feeling vindicated in this chilis. it is okay for people to have a different experience of the game than you!!! (i'll get off my soapbox now)

option 3 was perfect for t'zekh because he is finally fed up enough with zenos that he's finally willing to cast aside his moral opposition to killing in order to make sure zenos can't hurt anyone else in his name.

and zenos caught on to that and responded in kind.

anyway then i took a fucktillion pictures in the instance (most of which i'll put on my wol blog)

it was so hard to get them in the same frame lmao

and then i did the solo fight! not too bad on red mage, surprisingly enough - was very thankful to have vercure though lmao

this punch is still just as satisfying the second time

On my way to the last credits sequence i learned that you will actually fuck up the music timing if you skip or speed up the credits. it was playing revenge twofold when it was supposed to be playing flow together. that was very jarring. i don't know why they haven't set it to just start playing flow together for that sequence. dont skip the credits folks

and that's a wrap! i uhhh might have abandoned him before finishing out the quest so i could go farm memoria misera with aoife but im very happy to have (technically) beaten Endwalker with him before the year ended, which was one of my goals.

I think I started main story with him in January, so it's taken me about a year to get through... mostly what set me back was i had to make time/build emotional strength to make progress through parts I knew would be difficult emotionally. But I committed to not to skipping any cutscenes and just pressing on through a second read, and I'm glad to have embarked on this journey.

as soon as i finished endwalker the first time i knew it was going to be equally aoife and t'zekh's story. they both ended up having stakes in the plot in different ways, and getting to play through and see things from t'zekh's perspective was so much fun.

i still keep thinking abt the version of the ending in my head, wherein t'zekh is lying at the edge of the universe and all he can think is "i want to live, dammit!!"

and he hears a voice calling out to him.

"there you are!" aoife shouts, "I was looking all over for you!"

T'zekh has spent so much of the story kind of in aoife's shadow, grappling with what it means to be a "hero" in his own way. he spent a lot of stormblood resenting her absence.

but by the end of endwalker… i think they end up really close friends

---

Next, it'll be Banri's turn.... skipping as many cutscenes as possible so i can get him through before Dawntrail!